


don't take love off the table yet

by SummerFrost



Series: Suitehearts [12]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Ableism, Autism, Cunnilingus, Domestic Fluff, Getting Together, Light Bondage, Multi, Nonverbal Communication, Stuffed Toys, Trans Character, the time honored tradition of meddling in your friend's sex life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-08 01:36:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17971997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SummerFrost/pseuds/SummerFrost
Summary: “I feel like we could be more focused on the process here,” Nelly says. “Like, how often do you text him the eggplant emoji?”Everyone has an opinion on how to make Jack like him. But Miley doesn't want to pretend to be like someone else.





	don't take love off the table yet

**Author's Note:**

> All the love to #hellsquad, and extra special important thanks to Mal for the Jack characterization. Anything particularly wonderful about it is probably from them.
> 
> Title from Death Valley by FOB!

**February 2019**

Miley’s on his knees with his face between Cody’s thighs, so he almost doesn’t hear it when the phone rings. It’s _Ain’t My Fault_ , though, which is Nelly’s ringtone, so he leans back and says, “Sorry, that’s my best friend. He knows I’m here, so it might be important?”

Cody rolls their eyes, but they grab Miley’s cell off the floor anyway. “Should I untie you?”

Miley turns his head into his shoulder and manages to wipe most of the pussy juice off his mouth. “Nah, just put it on speaker.”

Cody answers the phone call—Nelly says, _“Bro,”_ as soon as the line connects.

“Hey!” Miley answers. “I’m still with Cody. Can you—”

“Five seconds. You-know-who just asked for your number,” Nelly says quickly. “Yay or nay?”

Miley shifts his weight, flexing his arms behind him. “Um, I don’t know who?”

“Miley, babe,” sighs Nelly, which isn’t exactly a clue. Miley just waits. “Am I on speaker?”

Cody says, “Hi, random person interrupting the sex I was having. I’m not into orgasm denial.”

Miley laughs.

Nelly says, “Your loss, babe,” and then, “Mo, take me off speaker.”

“Um, can’t.” Miley wiggles his fingers, but it’s not like Nelly can see, obviously. “Just tell me? Cody’s cool.”

“Zimmermann.”

Miley was slouching a little, but he sits up so fast that he almost loses his balance—Cody helpfully pushes him back upright with their calf. “Wait, _really?_ Yeah!”

Nelly says, “Happy birthday, Rook,” and hangs up the phone.

Miley does an excited wiggle, which is the most he can manage considering the circumstances. He looks up at Cody, whose hair is falling in their face while they raise an eyebrow at him. They haven’t re-dyed it since Miley met them last year, but it’s fading into this really cool turquoise.

“Your hair looks awesome,” Miley tells them. And also, “It’s not actually my birthday until next month.”

They laugh and lean down to run a hand through Miley’s hair. “You’re such a goof, Jesus.”

Miley pushes up into the contact and asks, “Can I go back to eating you out, now?” He wants to stim _so_ badly but there’s no good way to—but he does really love sex, so that’d probably be good.

“Bless,” Cody says, and spreads their legs.

 

~*~

 

“Fuck,” Cody tells him after, still sprawled on the bed and panting, “whoever that was should call you more often.”

“Oh, we talk all the time,” Miley says, then pauses. “Wait, you meant because of the sex after. Yeah, no, that’s fair.”

Cody lifts the arm that was covering their face and narrows their eyes at him. “That wasn’t sex. That was—fuck, I can’t even think of a good joke.”

Miley rotates his wrists some more. He wasn’t really tied up for that long before they changed positions, but he gets a little paranoid during the season.

“Hey,” Cody says. They trace a hand down Miley’s chest, blunt nails scratching lightly at his skin. “Good luck, by the way—with whoever asked for your number.”

“Um, thanks.” Miley takes their hand by the wrist, turning it into the light and dragging his thumbnail over the lines of their palm. He likes Cody a lot, is the thing, but they don’t actually have a lot of the same kinks, and Cody’s too monogamous for that to be a work-around. So it’s just been a casual thing a couple of times, even if Miley wishes it weren’t sometimes.

Probably one day Cody’ll meet someone they fit with better, and then they’ll just be friends or something, which is nice too.

Or maybe Miley’ll be the one who does that, if this thing with Jack...becomes a thing. His phone chimes with the normal text tone—which might actually be him. He suddenly feels weird about answering it here, though, and he’s not sure why.

But Cody said they have somewhere to be, anyway, so it’s not that weird for Miley to get dressed pretty fast. He almost puts on their boxers instead of his, but catches himself when they don’t make it over his thighs—whoops—and wiggles into his jeans with a couple excited hops. Then it’s just his shirt and them walking him to the door with this weird expression on their face that feels sadder than it should, maybe.

“It’s been fun, goofball,” they tell him, reaching up to fix something with his hair. “See ya around.”

“Yeah, definitely!” Miley says, then gives them a hug when they ask for one. He slips into the hallway and sits down on the floor outside their apartment so he can pull out his phone.

 **_[unknown number] (2:37 PM):_ ** _Hi, it’s Jack :-) I got your number from Nelson_

Miley flaps his hands against his thighs.

 **_Milo (2:48 PM):_ ** _Hi!!_

 **_Jack *-* (2:49 PM):_ ** _Sorry, I guess I still don’t have an answer. But I definitely miss talking to you, so I was hoping it’s okay if we text?_

Miley closes his eyes and smiles, trying to soak in all of the warm feeling in his stomach. Part of him hates not knowing—which is why he asked Jack how he felt in the first place. But...it’s weird, because Miley also doesn’t mind at all, because he thinks about how much Jack seemed to like kissing him, and how maybe if they text and stuff now, Jack could get to know Miley for real and he could actually _like_ him.

 _Maybe we’ll fall in love,_ Miley thinks, not for the first time, and it’s easy to start daydreaming about all the ways it could happen—like if they stayed up talking every night or Miley sent Jack a cute picture every day to make him smile—but first he should probably leave Cody’s apartment building, and also actually text Jack back.

 **_Milo (2:53 PM):_ ** _I got distracted :x_

 **_Milo (2:53 PM):_ ** _We can definitely text! I’d like that :)_

Jack just texts back a smiley face, which isn’t super helpful. But it’s a start.

 

~*~

 

Miley starts texting with Jack a lot—so much so that some of his teammates start chirping that he finally found a girlfriend. (He doesn't like how they say _finally,_ or _girlfriend,_ but Cap always makes them fuck off for him).

Jack's a pretty good texter. He uses a lot of punctuation and only ever does a smiley face—which is good, because Miley likes emojis but they mean _specific things_ and almost everyone else uses them wrong. Like, it got to the point where Nelly mostly stopped using them when he texts Miley because it was just dumb. But it's usually easy to know what Jack means in a text, and he doesn't get annoyed if Miley asks.

It just sucks being so far away.

 

~*~

 

 **_Milo (7:33 PM):_ ** _So anyway that's how we found out they met on Grindr lol_

 **_Milo (7:34 PM):_ ** _Aaaaand I just realized I wasn't supposed to tell you that story >.< _

**_Jack *-* (7:36 PM):_ ** _Haha. I won't tell._

 **_Milo (7:36 PM):_ ** _:D_

 **_Milo (7:36 PM):_ ** _Your turn!!_

 **_Jack *-* (7:36 PM):_ ** _Okay, but I've never told this one over text before. Can I call you?_

 

~*~

 

 **_Jack *-* (1:57 PM):_ ** _Milo, go make lunch._

 **_Milo (2:01 PM):_ ** _ >:3 _

**_Jack *-* (2:02 PM):_ ** _Haha. What is that?_

 **_Milo (2:02 PM):_ ** _It's like a naughty kitty >:3 _

**_Jack *-* (2:02 PM):_ ** _Go make lunch, naughty kitty_

 **_Jack *-* (2:04 PM):_ ** _...Sorry. That was weird._

 **_Milo (2:07 PM):_ ** _:3_

 

~*~

 

 **_Jack *-* (6:07 AM):_ ** _Do you ever feel like people are laughing at you and you don't know why?_

 **_Jack *-* (6:13 AM):_ ** _Sorry, that's random. It's just that I like my teammates but sometimes I get paranoid they're just pretending to like me._

 **_Milo (6:45 AM):_ ** _:( no, that happens to me a lot_

 **_Milo (6:48 AM):_ ** _I guess I have a really specific sense of humor and otherwise I don't really get things_

 **_Milo (6:48 AM):_ ** _I pretend it doesn't bother me but it does_

 **_Jack *-* (6:48 AM):_ ** _I think you're really funny._

 **_Milo (6:49 AM):_ ** _Aww!! :3_

 **_Milo (6:49 AM):_ ** _I think you're funny too!_

 **_Jack *-* (6:50 AM):_ ** _Haha, thanks._

 **_Milo (6:52 AM):_ ** _I'm sorry you feel like that though :( do you wanna talk about it more?_

 

~*~

 

So Miley loves texting Jack. But the only problem is that sometimes he gets this hollow feeling in his stomach that makes him want to curl up and cry for a second because Jack is so far _away,_ and Miley feels like he could tell him almost anything except maybe how badly he wishes Jack were here.

Jack still hasn't said if he likes Miley or what he wants to be going on between them. Bitty gave him his _“deeply confused”_ look when he explained that and tried to ask for advice, and said, “Isn't it obvious?”

But it's not to Miley, is the thing. So he's been kind of lonely, even though he normally isn't—and even though logically he knows Jack must like him a little or they wouldn't talk so much, it's still not the same.

“Mo, look,” Benji says, making Miley glance up from his phone. “They're both out cold.”

Miley looks over at Dad and Parse, who are flopped together on Parse's couch—Parse is on his back with one leg dangling off and an arm draped around Nelly's back, and Nelly is wrapped around Parse's front with his mouth hung open a little and his face nuzzled into Parse's tee.

Normally it makes Miley feel good to see his hockey dads so happy together. Today his chest just hurts.

“We should do that thing where you put whipped cream on the hand or whatever,” Benji says, giggling.

Miley unlocks his phone and takes a picture instead, thumbs shaking a little bit for some reason even though he's normally a pretty fast texter. He sends it to Jack before he can change his mind.

 **_Milo (7:22 PM):_ ** _[picture attached] I wish this was us :(_

His phone makes the swoop noise when the picture finishes sending. Miley stares at it for three seconds and then yelps, _“Dad!”_

Nelly startles awake, which would actually be pretty funny if Miley hadn't just done something really fucking weird and stupid.

“What!” he asks, looking around frantically until he wakes up all the way and sees Miley. “Bud, what the—”

Miley just chucks his phone in Nelly's direction, but he doesn't even try to catch it and it smacks Parse in the face which wakes him up too.

 _“Ow!”_ Parse pushes up the couch which dislocates Nelly into his lap. “Motherfucker.”

Benji asks, “Did you not like the whipped cream idea?”

Miley flails a hand at his phone on the floor.

Nelly gets what's happening first and picks it up. He knows Miley's password, so he doesn't even have to hand it back to unlock it before he sees the conversation with Jack.

“Oh, buddy,” he says. He tilts the phone so Parse can see. “What's that say?”

Parse's jaw does this weird thing for a second. “Uh. 'Wish this was us?’”

 _“Buddy,”_ Nelly says again.

Miley smushes his face into his hands and rocks back and forth a little.

“Look, you know I don't say this that often, and you're the best rookie fucking ever.” Nelly scoots closer on the couch, but he doesn't reach over to Miley's chair. “But that was pretty weird, bud.”

Miley tries to make some words work again, but Parse says, “Holy _shit.”_

Nelly tells him, “Don't make it worse,” but then there's some weird scuffling noises and Benji pokes Miley's ankle.

“Mo,” Benji says, “look.”

Miley pulls his hands away from his face and Nelly dangles the phone in front of him.

 **_Jack *-* (7:27 PM):_ ** _Me too_

 **_Jack *-* (7:27 PM):_ ** _[A selfie of Jack curled up in bed with a pillow hugged to his chest. His face is partially obscured, but he's looking into the camera with drooping eyes.]_

“Can I tell Bittle?” Parse asks. Miley isn't sure to who. “He's gonna lose his _shit,_ this is fucking amazing.”

Miley's pretty sure there's some kind of argument starting around him, but he just snatches his phone back from Nelly and stares at the picture for a really long time. His chest still hurts, but he flops sideways into the back of the armchair and makes this quiet squealing sound into the cushions, too.

Maybe Jack likes him a lot.

 

~*~

 

Jack calls Miley one day towards the end of February, while Miley's cooking dinner, but there's a great song playing so Miley waits for it to end before he pauses the music and calls back.

“Hey, sorry,” Miley says when he picks up. He puts Jack on speaker phone so he can keep smushing up pine nuts. “Kitchen.”

Jack says, “That's alright. I just, uh, have a question—er, questions.”

Miley hums.

“What's your schedule like the week after your birthday?” Jack asks.

Miley tastes the pesto and frowns. More basil. “Um, not great. We play at home Saturday and Sunday.”

“No, during the week. You have off Thursday and Friday right?”

Miley stares at the basil for a long time. Two more leaves? Three?

Jack asks, “Milo?”

“Sorry!” Miley blinks his eyes shut for an extra long moment. “Um, Thursday and Friday? Yeah. I've just got practice in the afternoons.”

“Great,” Jack says quickly, “I'll call you—”

“Why?” Miley asks. He plucks three leaves and tears one in half.

Jack doesn't answer right away. “Uh.”

Miley drops the 2.5 basil leaves into the mixing bowl. “Oh, wait! Isn't that your bye week?”

“Well, uh. Yes?” Jack sounds weird. It makes Miley a little uneasy. “I was sort of, uh, planning something special.”

Next time, Miley's gonna use a food processor. Crushing it by hand seemed like a fun stimmy thing to do when it wasn't holding his dinner hostage. “Aww, that's sweet! Send me the deets later so I can put it on my calendar.”

Jack says, “Well, actually, I—are you...hanging a painting or something?”

“Pesto!” Miley answers cheerfully.

“Nice. Uh, anyway. I actually kind of wanted it to be a surprise.” Jack takes a breath. “For your birthday, and, uh, since I don't see you very often I thought it'd be nice—”

Miley's chest goes tight. “Oh! Um! No thanks?”

Jack hesitates. “No...thanks?”

Miley closes his eyes and presses his fingers into his sternum and says, “I don't like surprises? They, um, I'm sorry. They freak me out? Can't we, um—can't we just watch that documentary you were telling me about?”

He laughs nervously, but it doesn't help.

“Oh,” says Jack.

“I'm really sorry,” Miley insists. He's trying to keep his voice from trembling. “I know I'm probably ruining everything and you're probably mad at me—”

Jack interrupts gently, “Hey, no. I, uh. Sorry. I'm not—hang on.”

Miley stares at his pesto. Suddenly his phone beeps—Jack's trying to switch to video. He rubs at his face for a second before accepting.

“Hey,” Jack says when the videos pop up. He's laying in bed and smiling, hair all rumpled against a pillow.

Miley just waves sheepishly.

Jack says, “I'm not mad. I'm...it's weird. I think maybe I'm relieved?”

“But I'm being ridiculous,” Miley tells him. “You're just trying to do something nice for me.”

“But, no, see—” Jack rubs the back of his neck. “If I'd thought about it—I would've realized it wouldn't be nice for _you.”_

Miley glances at the pesto—not happening. He takes his phone into the living room instead. “It’s okay that you didn't.”

Jack must have his phone propped up on something, because both of his hands are in his lap. He wrings them together as he says, “Uh, thanks, but that's not—well, thank you. But I think. And this is—one of those things I don't normally...know how to say.”

“That's okay,” Miley encourages softly. He curls up on the couch and burritos himself in a blanket. He feels a little less anxious now, but it's still under his skin.

“I think that, uh. I just want things to go right so badly.” Jack keeps glancing up at the camera and then down at his hands. “All the time. And I think that if, uh. If can make this big thing happen…”

“Then everything else'll be okay?” Miley asks.

Jack looks up for real. “Yes.”

“It doesn't work,” Miley points out.

Jack laughs. “Well, not with you, apparently.”

Miley thinks that someone could probably say that in a mean way, but it sounds warm coming from Jack. He curls his bare toes against the lip of the couch and closes his eyes around a smile.

“Can I tell you something?” Jack asks.

Miley props his cheek up against the armrest. He opens his eyes, still smiling. “All the somethings.”

“I'm,” Jack says like it's a full sentence, then looks down at his fidgeting hands and tries again. “I'm afraid that you'll get tired of me.”

It's hard for Miley to understand what other people are feeling if he's not in the room with them, sometimes. He depends on the gut feeling of it, like—the vibe someone puts out. But his heart hurts anyway.

“Which part?” he asks.

Jack says, “Having to figure me out all the time. It's not...it isn't fair.”

“I have to figure everyone out, all the time,” Miley says, and it doesn't feel all the way true until after he says it and it's like when they pull the rubber tourniquet away after you donate blood. “Just to be like a person? But mostly people, um. They act like it's my fault.”

Jack says his name, _Milo,_ like it's something sad.

Miley hides the video chat and stares at the home screen. “But you don't do that. You help me?”

Jack's voice is rougher than normal. “I'm sorry, I don't—”

“So, um, I think maybe.” Miley swallows. The word is so close. _Autistic._ He can't. “I think probably—probably one day I'll do something too weird, like with the surprises or, you know, and so—you won't wanna deal with that. So you probably don't have to worry about your thing.”

Jack's breathing is audible through the phone. Miley wants to look at him so badly and he can't do that either. Jack says, “I—I'm sorry, Milo, I don't know what to say.” He takes another breath. “But...I want to visit you, if you want me to, and we can plan the entire thing together.”

Miley presses the side of a fist into his mouth, like maybe if he can stop the smile from happening he can hold onto the feeling for longer. He offers, “The present can be a surprise, if you want.”

“It's a tie,” Jack says.

Miley pulls the camera back up.

 

~*~

 

Miley is in his second favorite spot, which is scrunched up in Nelly's living room doorway with his feet pushed up on one side of the frame and his back braced against the other, when Bitty comes in through the front door and shakes his umbrella to get all the water off.

Some of it splatters onto Miley, but he doesn't say anything about it.

“Hey, sugar,” Bitty says. He probably means Miley, but he could also mean Malcom who just walked in behind him.

Miley says, “Hi, Bitty!” just in case, without looking up from his phone.

 **_Milo (5:51 PM):_ ** _Your dog is so cute!! What's their name?_

“Jack again?” Bitty asks. He seems a little out of breath. “Where's Travis?”

Miley starts to answer, but Benji comes over from the kitchen just then and says, “Skyping Parse. He'll be down soon.”

“Great,” says Bitty. He and Malcom step over Miley and then stand next to him. Miley can feel them staring. “Milo, can we talk about Jack?”

 **_Jack *-* (5:51 PM):_ ** _Muffin_

Miley scrolls up and down the text conversation with his thumb. “Um, sure?”

 **_Jack *-* (5:52 PM):_ ** _Everyone thinks Bittle named him, but it was actually my idea._

“I just think that you should know that I don't have a problem with it if you date Jack,” Bitty says really fast. It takes Miley an extra few seconds to even process. “I mean, Lord knows I think it's weird, and I have no idea how _this_ works, but I care about him and you're important to Travis and I want y'all to be happy.”

Miley gets one of those feelings where something someone said was a lot more important than he thought it would be, but it's too late to figure out why. He looks up from his phone guiltily and tries to figure out what Bitty's face means—he's chewing on his bottom lip and one hand is up near his shoulder, like he was waving it around and forgot to finish. Malcom's got an arm around his shoulders.

“I'm sorry,” Miley tells him. “I feel like that meant a lot to you, but I'm just confused? But thanks, for, um, the part about wanting me to be happy.”

Bitty whispers, _“See?”_ to Malcom, which Miley thinks he wasn't supposed to hear.

 **_Milo (5:54 PM):_ ** _That's such a cute name!_

 **_Milo (5:54 PM):_ ** _Ost has a food name too. It's “cheese” in Swedish :D_

Bitty says, “Anyway, that wasn't actually the point. I was thinking—”

“Bitty, babe,” Nelly calls, thumping down the stairs with the dogs at his heels. “Mal, other-babe. Did you tell Rook our awesome plan yet?”

 **_Jack *-* (5:55 PM):_ ** _I like that :-)_

Bitty says, _“Travis.”_

 **_Jack *-* (5:55 PM):_ ** _Wait, is that why people always call her random food names on Instagram?_

Miley hums at his phone.

Malcom says, “We were getting to that.”

“Hey, Mo, look alive,” Nelly tells him.

 **_Milo (5:56 PM):_ ** _Yeah but I actually don't like that :( I feel like they're making fun of her_

Miley looks up at everyone. “What's the plan?”

“They're nosy,” Benji answers.

Bitty snorts. _“You're_ here too, Corey.” He pauses. “Your name is too short for that to work the way I want.”

“I'm always here. Miley, want a soda?”

“No thanks,” Miley replies. “No one answered my question.”

Nelly says, “We're gonna help you bone Zimmermann.”

And like, Miley knows what he actually means—it's just that he's a little annoyed by it? So he brightens his voice and tells them, “Oh! Sorry, I'm not into group sex?”

Malcom snickers so loudly that it turns into a coughing fit; Bitty pats his back with a quiet huff.

Miley just looks up at Nelly expectantly.

“No, Mo, like we're gonna help you _land_ him.” Nelly does finger guns at Miley. “You know, Operation Get Rookie Laid.”

“Oh,” Miley says. “No thanks!”

 **_Jack *-* (5:57 PM):_ ** _I'm sorry. Have you ever tried asking them to stop?_

 **_Milo (5:59 PM):_ ** _Sorry, brb, Nelly and Bitty are trying to help me make you wanna have sex with me_

“No thanks?” Bitty asks.

 **_Jack *-* (5:59 PM):_ ** _I'd already have sex with you._

Miley tells them, “Pretty sure I've got it covered.”

 **_Milo (6:00 PM):_ ** _That's what I said! :P_

Nelly sighs and gets down on the floor. People always think Miley will, like, listen to them better if they're closer—he likes being near his friends, but that's not why. “Bud, I'm gonna be real here. You sent him a pic of his ex-boyfriend _sleeping._ That's not, like, a thing people do.”

 _Normal people._ Miley knew that, obviously. But he doesn't want to have to pretend to be normal to make anyone like him. It's not _fair._

 **_Milo (6:01 PM):_ ** _Um, but, I still don't wanna right now sorry_

It's not that Miley has a thing about waiting for sex; he has, like, a _lot_ of casual sex actually. Not as much as Nelly or Parse, but more than average probably. But sex doesn't work for Miley without a kink negotiation first, and that's not something he feels like he could do with Jack right now.

 **_Jack *-* (6:01 PM):_ ** _No, I know. Which is fine :-)_

 **_Jack *-* (6:02 PM):_ ** _Uh, more than fine? I'm trying to be clear I'm not bothered by it._

Miley smiles at the phone.

“Milo, did you hear any of that?” Bitty asks.

Miley shuffles his feet against the door frame and inches himself an extra few centimeters off the ground. “Nelly says I'm weird.”

“Okay, but also the part after that where I was less of a dick,” Nelly says.

Miley genuinely did not pay attention to that part, but also he feels like chirping him. “Missed that bit, sorry.”

Nelly puts his hand on Miley's shoulder. “Mo, you're weird and _awesome._ It's just, like, bros to help your buddy out, you know? We wanna make Zimmermann see you like we do.”

 _He does,_ Miley thinks. _Maybe better._

Bitty chimes in, “Everyone does this, sugar. I mean, I sent _every_ text I wanted to send to Malcom to my best friend from college first.”

“Aww, you did?” Mal asks in a sing-song voice. He and Bitty moved to sit on the couch at some point. “Baby, that's so _embarrassing.”_

“You hush!” Bitty huffs. Malcom makes smoochie faces at him and starts pressing big, smacking kisses all over his cheek—he squeals and kicks his legs out, but his hand is tracing up Mal's back. “You're—so—ridiculous!”

 **_Milo (6:04 PM):_ ** _Aww, I know *-* But thanks for making sure :)_

Nelly says, “Anyway, Mo.”

Miley looks up again. He really just wants to be talking to Jack right now, but. “Um, this seems really important to you guys? So I guess it's fine.”

“Great!” Bitty says. He drapes his feet in Malcom's lap. “Um, are you gonna stay over there the whole time?”

A thing Miley's figured out about Bitty is that usually when he asks a question like that, he actually means, _don't do that thing._ It seems like it'd be way simpler to just ask Miley to move, but whatever.

“Yup!” Miley answers.

Bitty leans his head back against the couch.

Malcom asks, “Hey, Milo, could you come sit with us, please?”

 **_Jack *-* (6:05 PM):_ ** _Oh, you never told me how you got Ost. I'd love to hear it._

Miley unwedges himself from the doorway and stretches for a few moments. He _was_ there for a pretty long time. “Sure!”

Mal says, “Thanks, friend,” as Miley sprawls on the floor near everyone's feet. Miley gives him a thumbs up.

Bitty says, “The first thing you should know about Jack is that he's very sweet, bless his heart, but it can be hard to carry a conversation.”

Miley frowns. “Um, okay.”

“So don't get discouraged if he doesn't respond a lot or something,” Bitty continues.

 **_Milo (6:06 PM):_ ** _Okay but it's kinda a long story :3_

Nelly asks, “Sound familiar?”

 **_Jack *-* (6:06 PM):_ ** _Great :-)_

Miley puts his phone down on his chest for a second and tells the ceiling, “Jack's actually really easy to talk to?”

“Oh, I mean, yes,” Bitty says. “I thought so too.”

Miley furrows his eyebrows. “So why—”

“I feel like we could be more focused on the process here,” Nelly cuts in. “Like, how often do you text him the eggplant emoji?”

Bitty makes a _tsk_ noise. “First of all, I genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, hope that you’re joking. Second of all, Jack would _absolutely_ not know what that means.”

 **_Milo (6:09 PM):_ ** _[three eggplant emoji]_

 **_Jack *-* (6:09 PM):_ ** _What?_

 **_Milo (6:09 PM):_ ** _Just checking_

“Everyone knows the eggplant emoji, babes.” Nelly stretches out on the couch so that his feet are crossed over Bitty’s ankles in Malcom’s lap. “And I’ve never been more serious in my life.”

 **_Milo (6:10 PM):_ ** _Also, first you should know that kitties are the most perfect sweet beautiful creatures in the entire world_

Bitty says, “The eggplant emoji does _not_ work. Ew.”

“Would’ve worked on me,” Malcom says. Benji high-fives him for some reason.

 **_Jack *-* (6:11 PM):_ ** _[a picture of Muffin laying with his head on the floor, looking glumly up at the camera]_

 **_Jack *-* (6:11 PM):_ ** _That makes Muffin sad :-(_

Miley giggles. He loves it when Jack’s goofy like that.

 **_Milo (6:11 PM):_ ** _Sorry Muffin!!_

“Okay, Sir Too Good for the Eggplant Emoji,” Nelly says, “what’s your master plan, then?”

Bitty’s voice goes flat. “Well, from my experience, all Milo has to do is join Jack’s hockey team, move into a frat house, bake an average of fourteen pies a month, and wait two years.”

“Seems doable,” says Malcom.

 **_Milo (6:13 PM):_ ** _But no it actually all got started because I got really into learning things about cats_

 **_Milo (6:13 PM):_ ** _I actually know a lot of fun facts if you wanna hear some :D_

Nelly asks, “Miley, would you leave us for the Falconers in exchange for the Zimmerdick?”

“Nah,” Miley says. “Cool pun though.”

 **_Jack *-* (6:14 PM):_ ** _Haha, okay. I’ll trade you facts about Muffin._

“We need a new plan, then,” Nelly says.

 **_Milo (6:14 PM):_ ** _Cats only meow around people!! And each cat learns different sounds to talk to their owner!_

“What if Miley sends Jack those pics of him from that magazine?” Benji suggests.

Miley perks up at that. “Vogue Homme?”

“Holy shit,” says Malcom, “that’s such big dick energy.”

Bitty frowns. “I feel like that’s weird.”

Nelly points out, “I sent Parse all the proofs from my body issue.”

“Relevant sidenote—whose idea was it to put the coffee cup in front of your junk?” Malcom asks. “I’ve always wondered this.”

 **_Jack *-* (6:17 PM):_ ** _Muffin barks at squirrels, strangers, people he’s known for two years, and hockey games on television, but not if I ask nicely._

There’s a fifteen second video attached. Miley tries to watch it without sound, but it’s just Muffin sitting up and wagging his tail with his tongue hanging out—which is pretty cute, but maybe not the point? So he turns the volume up and holds it up to his ear. Jack is talking in one of those really silly voices people only ever do for animals and asking, _“Who’s a good boy?_ You _are! Say hi to Milo!”_

Fuck. It gets harder to breathe for a second, but Miley closes his eyes and replays the video and that helps. It’s so cliché, he _knows_ that, but it’s just—he’s never felt this before. Like, he thought he had. He’s liked people really badly, and he’s been in love even though the other person didn’t love him back and there was nothing he could do except cry about it and not let his parents see so they wouldn’t worry, and so he thought he knew what it was like. No one said it’d be this specific feeling, like how he’s so aware of the muscles on the underside of his ribs.

“Mo, bud, are you okay?” Nelly asks.

Miley opens his eyes. “So, um.” He takes another breath. “What do you do when you like someone and you think maybe they like you back, but it still hurts?”

No one says anything.

 **_Milo (6:23 PM):_ ** _Did you know that cats can say they love you_

 **_Milo (6:23 PM):_ ** _If they blink their eyes really slowly or roll to show their bellies_

 **_Milo (6:24 PM):_ ** _It means the trust you enough to be vulnerable_

 **_Jack *-* (6:25 PM):_ ** _Oh, wow. That’s really beautiful._

 **_Jack *-* (6:26 PM):_ ** _[A slightly blurry selfie: Jack is sitting on the floor next to Muffin with one arm wrapped around him and his face snuggled into Muffin’s fur]_

 **_Jack *-* (6:27 PM):_ ** _Muffin helps me through panic attacks. I don’t like to tell people that I still have them. But it’s okay if it’s you._

Everyone’s been quiet for a long time.

Miley sits up and crosses his legs and squeezes his phone in his hands. “No one answered my question.”

“I think…that’s normal,” Bitty says slowly. When Miley looks over at him, he’s squeezing Malcom’s hand really tightly. “I think you love them anyway.”

Miley looks back at his phone and the picture of Jack, staring hard at the side of his face that isn’t hidden by Muffin’s fur. Jack’s eyes are closed, and there’s only a sliver of mouth showing so it’s impossible to really tell if he’s smiling—but Miley thinks maybe he is.

“Okay,” he says. “Thanks for the help.”

 

~*~

 

 **_Milo (10:13 AM):_ ** _Hi! I feel like I should tell you that I'm not really actually dating someone but I think like maybe I could be?_

 **_Milo (10:15 AM):_ ** _Which is weird for me lol. And like I know we're just hooking up and stuff but you told me you're not really comfy with open relationships and idk, I'm not sure if this would bug you so it's better to ask._

 **_Milo (10:15 AM):_ ** _But also also, I really like you and I wanna be friends even if we don't have sex anymore :3_

 **_Cody!! (10:37 AM):_ ** _Thanks goofball_

 **_Cody!! (10:38 AM):_ ** _Yeah idk I feel like if it's getting serious with this other person I'm not really into being fuckbuddies anymore :/ but reg buddies would be great_

 **_Milo (12:01 PM):_ ** _Okay! Do you wanna get coffee on Tuesday?_

 **_Cody!! (12:03 PM):_ ** _Sure, I'll text you when I'm done with class_

 **_Cody!! (12:03 PM):_ ** _How's it going, though? You really like them?_

 **_Milo (12:03 PM):_ ** _It's weird_

 **_Milo (12:05 PM):_ ** _Like, idk, I usually do sex and dating and stuff a certain way and we didn't meet like that, and we haven't negotiated or anything_

 **_Milo (12:05 PM):_ ** _But I still feel so close to him?_

 **_Cody!! (12:06 PM):_ ** _Mhm_

 **_Milo (12:06 PM):_ ** _And my friends want me to do it all a THIRD way which is weird and I guess it makes me even more paranoid I'll do something wrong_

 **_Cody!! (12:07 PM):_ ** _But you're into him and you think he's into you_

 **_Milo (12:07 PM):_ ** _Yeah :3_

 **_Cody!! (12:08 PM):_ ** _Then you do you, babe. Don't let the Man get you down_

 **_Milo (12:08 PM):_ ** _...okay :D_

 **_Milo (12:08 PM):_ ** _Thanks for being my friend :)_

 **_Cody!! (12:09 PM):_ ** _You can repay me by finding me a hot older woman who's into tie play_

 **_Milo (12:09 PM):_ ** _Okay!!_

 **_Cody!! (12:27 PM):_ ** _Wait you know I was kidding right_

 **_Cody!! (12:44 PM):_ ** _Milo?_

 

~*~

 

 **_Milo (12:13 PM):_ ** _Does Annie know any hot older women who are into tie play_

 **_Soooouuuuup (12:15 PM):_ ** _I have so many questions and I know that you will answer none of them_

 

~*~

 

Jack flies into town the Thursday after Miley's birthday, in the evening so Miley can meet him at the apartment after practice. He has to skip squad dinner to make it happen, which bothers him a little bit, obviously, since it's a tradition—but maybe not as much as he thought it would.

He pulls up at the apartment building after Jack's already gotten dropped off by his Uber, which makes Miley feel a little bad and also a little stressed because he really needs to remember to call his cleaning service and ask them to come more often or something but he hasn't and it's just—a lot. The apartment is a lot.

“Hi!” Miley says, doing a half-jog over to where Jack is sitting in the lobby. There's someone at the front desk, so he doesn't ask for a hug or anything. “My apartment's really messy.”

Jack laughs. “Good to see you too, Milo.”

Miley's already walking towards the elevator. “I’m really glad you're here! Please don't judge me.”

“I'm sure it's not that bad,” Jack says once the elevator doors close.

Miley rocks back and forth on his heels as the elevator climbs and says, “That's the spirit!”

He unlocks the front door and taps on the frame three times before pushing it open, and Jack accidentally bumps into him from behind because Ost tries to bolt outside and Miley drops to the ground to grab her.

 _“Naughty_ kitty!” Miley scolds. He scoops her up and holds her against his shoulder. “Naughty, naughty princess kitty.”

Ost makes her loudest _“Dad, stop!!”_ noise right in his ear.

“I know, baby. I'm very mean to you all the time.” Miley nuzzles his cheek against her fur and steps all the way into the apartment.

He turns around to get the door and catches Jack staring at him. Ostie digs her little claws into his shoulder and starts to purr.

“What's wrong?” he asks. “Is it the apartment? I said not to—”

“Haha, no.” Jack is smiling. He's still got his duffel bag tossed over one shoulder which Miley didn't even notice before. “I'm guessing you've never been to Bittle's place.”

“Nope! Why? Should I take your bag? I don't really have people over so I don't know.”

Jack drops his bag on the ground. “Can I kiss you?”

Miley swallows; he can still feel Ost purring against his sternum. “Um, yeah. Let me put her down.”

“Is it okay to touch?” Jack asks. He takes a step closer when Miley coaxes Ost back onto the ground.

“Me or her?” Miley asks.

Jack laughs and says, “Well, both. But mostly you.”

There's something about the anticipation that's really getting to Miley. Jack never answered his other questions and they said they'd kiss but they haven't yet and it's—like, he feels unsteady, but in the same way as being giddy-drunk on Nelly's yacht.

“Um,” he says, stalling. “She gets nervous around strangers so probably not now.”

“Sure,” says Jack.

Miley moves in closer, his hands coming halfway up to grasping Jack's arms like he did at that arena, fingers twitching. “But, um, you can touch me.”

“Okay,” Jack says, and he does.

His hand cups the back of Miley's head when he leans in and the other rests high on his torso. They're about the same height—Miley might actually be taller—and it seems like it makes Jack not know what to do about it, because the angle's all weird.

Miley presses himself low against the wall to make it easier, though, and Jack kisses him hard but not mean. Like it's three weeks of _everything_ at all once.

They kiss for a few minutes, Miley's hands curling in Jack's shirt, and the everything doesn't get any smaller. Maybe it just won't.

Jack pulls away. His breath is coming a little shallow, so it's more like panting. “Merde. We'll miss the reservation.”

Miley laughs, because they're not supposed to have dinner until six. He checks his watch to remind Jack and— “Oh.”

“Haha.” Jack's eyes crinkle up when he laughs; Miley can notice that from this close without looking right into them.

“I'll just get changed really fast,” Miley says quickly. He doesn't move, though. Jack isn't actually holding him down or anything, but his body wants to be where it is so _badly._

Jack slides his hands away and says, “One second.”

Miley watches him root around in the duffel bag and pull out a thin rectangular box. It has a blue bow on it, like on Christmas presents in movies.

“You, uh, don't have to wear it,” Jack says. He holds it out for Miley to take and rubs the back of his neck with his other hand. “But I just, uh. Happy birthday.”

Miley lifts the lid off the box. The tie is shiny and black with red roses all over it in a classic floral style, and there's a matching pocket square. “Aww,” he says. He feels like he's glowing. “It's like you got me flowers!”

“Haha, yeah.” Jack shoves his hands in his pockets. “So, uh, you like it?”

Miley looks up. “So much! Can I hug you?”

“Definitely,” Jack says. He wraps his arms around Miley's lower back and makes a surprised grunt when Miley squeezes him super tightly.

“Thanks,” Miley whispers. He's not sure why he wants to be quiet all of a sudden.

Jack touches his temple to Miley's gently, then pulls away. “Uh, I should probably get changed too. Is there a bathroom?”

“Yeah!” Miley says.

Jack raises his eyebrows and does half a smile.

“Oh.” Miley's face heats up. “Sorry. It's down that hallway on the right.”

Jack grabs his bag again, so Miley probably isn't supposed to take it. “Alright.”

Miley says, “So, um, I'll try to be quick, but if I'm not back in like fifteen minutes you might wanna come find me?”

“There’s a possibility you'll get lost in the closet, eh?” Jack chirps.

“Basically,” Miley says. He never actually took the box from Jack, so he does that and heads to his bedroom.

Miley picked his entire outfit the day Jack bought plane tickets, obviously, but he chucks it all back in the direction of his dresser and starts combing through the closet for things to go with his new tie.

Jack said he didn't have to wear it, which was nice. But he thinks it would mean a lot.

He manages to find a button-down in the sorta-right shade of black and a deep red blazer with glossy black lapels, and matching pants. The colors are all, like, slightly off, but probably no one else would notice. Miley really wants to wear the tie.

It doesn't actually take that long to get dressed once he knows what he's wearing, so they're not _that_ far behind schedule. Miley's fiddling with the button on his jacket while he walks back down the hallway when he realizes Jack is talking to someone.

“Haha, ouch!” Jack says. “Good kitty.”

Miley hurries into the living room and finds Jack kneeling on the floor near Ost, who's wiggling her butt in the air and getting ready to pounce on Jack's hand where he's tapping it against the carpet. “Oh, no! You don't have to let her do that.”

Jack looks up at Miley with wide eyes, right when Ost jumps on him—she bats at his hand and then darts away again. He asks, “Why—ow! Why? Didn't you say this is how you play with her?”

“Um, yeah, I do ” A thread loosens on Miley's jacket. He stops rolling the button between his fingers and puts his hand in his pocket instead. “But most people say it hurts.”

“That's okay,” Jack says. He looks back at Ost and smiles, wiggling his fingers at her. “She's having fun.”

Miley feels his stomach flutter. “Should we go to dinner?”

Jack smiles and makes kissy noises at Ost before he gets up. He turns to Miley and holds out his hand, even though they'll have to drop them again when they get outside.

Miley looks at all the cat scratches covering Jack's hand and their matching calluses on the other side. He takes it.

 

~*~

 

 **_Milo (6:03 PM):_ ** _Is it weird to maybe kinda sorta fall in love with someone all your friends have had sex with_

 **_Cody!! (6:07 PM):_ ** _That's just queer culture babe_

 

~*~

 

They have dinner at the fancy restaurant Jack had wanted to surprise Miley with, and it's nice because like—it's still just as special, because it's not like Miley would go somewhere like this with his friends, but also he got to read the entire menu two weeks before he had to actually make a decision about it which is way better.

Then it's a skating rink—not the one the Schooners practice at, but some random one across town that Jack booked private time at. They still can't hold hands or anything because there's still staff around, but it's nice.

It's getting kind of late, but they go to a bar afterwards because Miley had really specifically wanted Jack to buy him a drink like in that daydream he keeps having even though they've, like, actually met now. But if Jack thought it was weird, he didn't say so.

He found three different places they could walk to from the rink and sent them to Miley and even asked what drink he should buy.

So they go to the bar they picked and have the one drink, and then it's time to head home. It makes Miley a little nervous, because like—he's always autistic, obviously, which isn't even a bad thing, but it's the most obvious when he's tired, maybe. And some of his bedtime routine is kinda...weird.

It's just that it's a lot of work, being a normal person, and he doesn't do a very good job even when he's trying.

But maybe that's okay, with Jack. Miley tells himself that it will be the entire ride home, hands tapping nervously on his thighs. He wants his headphones.

“Can we, uh, head to bed?” Jack asks as soon as they get through the door. Miley sighs with relief. “Sorry, uh. Just, it's pretty late back home, eh?”

Miley kicks his shoes off. “No, no, I mean—yeah, I'm actually really tired too? I'm really sorry I forgot about the time difference! We stayed out so late and—”

“It's okay,” Jack says. He shrugs out of his suit jacket and hangs it on the coat rack that Miley always forgets he bought. “I was—I’m having a lot of fun. I'd stay up if I could.”

“I've, um, got a guest bedroom if you want,” Miley offers. He tries to take a breath and gives up halfway through. “But you can also sleep with me?”

Jack smiles at him and then looks down at his feet. “Uh, I'd like that. If you want.”

“Yeah!” Miley smiles back, but he's also already tossing his blazer on the couch and walking towards the bedroom. “There's just, like, one thing.”

“Sure.” Jack follows, his steps creaking the floorboards under the carpet. Miley loosens his tie and tosses it onto the dresser, then undoes just enough buttons on the shirt to pull it over his head.

“I normally just sleep in my underwear? That's not the thing. But I can put on more clothes if that's weird,” Miley says. He kicks his pants in the direction of the hamper.

“Uh, no, that's fine,” says Jack. “I've got pajamas though.”

Miley just hums in response. He swallows and grabs Sprinkles from the nightstand and shoves her in Jack's direction with his eyes closed before he can change his mind. “This is Sprinkles and she gets lonely so someone has to cuddle her all night.”

Jack's got a red t-shirt pulled halfway over his head. He finishes putting it on and stares at Sprinkles for what must be forever, then says, “Of course. Is she a hedgehog?”

“Yeah!” Miley laughs nervously. He presses a thumb into the seam between her feathery quills and lower body. Sometimes he counts the stitches and there are two and a half under the pad of his thumb. “Sorry, I know it's weird.”

Jack's eyes go all droopy, and his whole voice is down-turned. “I don't, uh. I don't want...do I do something? That makes you feel like you should apologize?”

Miley blinks slowly. “Um...I—no? I guess I just do it.”

“You don't have to,” Jack insists. He reaches a hand out. “Can I hold her?”

Miley nestles her gently in the palm of Jack's hand, taking a deliberately steady breath.

Jack says, “She's really cute. How long have you had her?”

“Oh, um. Since my first summer here. This little kid gave her to me.” Miley sits down on the edge of the bed and pinches the comforter between his fingers. “He said, um, that I seemed like I needed her.”

Jack sits down too, close enough that their knees are almost touching. He puts Sprinkles down on Miley's thigh. “Did you?”

“Yeah,” Miley says.

Jack asks, “Can I put my arm around you? And maybe, uh, maybe kiss you?

“Both,” Miley tells him, and melts into Jack's side as the tension drains out of his shoulders. He tilts his face up, but Jack presses his nose into Miley's hair and kisses his temple.

It hurts, a little bit, because Miley really doesn't want to cry on top of everything. It stays in his chest instead, burning.

They don't say anything for a while, and Miley almost doses off. Eventually Jack asks, “So, uh. How does—do you like cuddling, at night?”

“A lot!” Miley smiles, nuzzling carefully against Jack's shoulder without touching his neck. “With cuddling, it's more like—it's easier for me to just say if I don't like something if it comes up? If that works for you, too.”

“Okay. So we could, uh, spoon maybe. Or something,” Jack says.

Miley hums.

Jack rubs his thumb back and forth over Miley's bare arm. “Okay. Are you ready to get in bed?”

Flopping down onto the mattress seems easier than talking. Miley grabs Sprinkles off his thigh first though, obviously.

“Haha. I'll just brush my teeth.” Jack boops Sprinkles on the nose as he stands up.

Miley burrows under the covers while he waits for Jack to get back, then pulls them down at one corner so Jack can get in easier. They end up curled into each other, with Miley tucked under Jack's arm and resting his head in the space between Jack's neck and shoulder.

It's not actually that comfortable of a sleeping position, but that's okay.

Jack murmurs, “I can hold Sprinkles. If that's, uh, okay.”

Miley squeezes his eyes shut tighter and presses her lightly against Jack's chest, fumbling until Jack finds his hand with his own, warm fingers closing over top. It hurts.

“Thanks,” Jack whispers, like it was a favor.

 

~*~

 

Miley wakes up the next morning sprawled over half the bed. Jack is sitting up on the other side, reading something on his phone, but he puts it down on the nightstand when he hears Miley's grumbly waking up noises.

“Good morning,” Jack says.

Miley hums and flops all the way over so he's draped over Jack's chest and torso.

“Did you sleep well?” Jack asks, resting an arm on Miley's back. Miley kicks his legs under the covers and gently headbutts Jack's other hand. “Haha, that's good.”

Miley props his chin up on Jack's chest and stares at his Ikea lamp. It's probably starting to get weird that he hasn't actually said anything yet, but it's just—it's always harder when he wakes up, and sometimes he just feels so much of something that it's too big to find any words for. He wonders if that's how Jack feels.

“Sprinkles slept well too,” Jack says. He wiggles Sprinkles with one hand and makes her give butterfly kisses against Miley's nose.

Miley grins and nuzzles her back and makes a happy chirping sound in his throat, and swallows down a sharp flare of anxiety right after. He wants to stay like this so badly. He can't. If he really works at it he can get it together, he can go verbal again, and maybe Jack won't—

“Does it bother you that I'm talking?” Jack asks.

Miley shakes his head hard and wraps around Jack as tightly as he can, burying his face against his tee. _No, no. I love your voice. Please don't be mad._

Jack chuckles and puts his other arm around Miley too. He rocks back and forth a little before relaxing out of the hug. “Okay. I really like your apartment, by the way.”

Miley drums his fingers against Jack's side.

“It feels...hum.” Jack runs a thumb back and forth across the ridge of Miley's spine. “Welcoming, I guess. Lived-in.”

 _Thank you._ Miley kisses lightly at Jack's arm, right where the seam of his shirt is. _Thank you._

Jack goes quiet for a bit after that, but at one point he buries his fingers in Miley's hair and starts sort of massaging his head, which feels amazing. Miley wishes he could purr—he hums deep in his throat instead, and Jack hums back.

“Should we cancel breakfast?” Jack asks eventually.

Miley thinks about it. He wants to see everyone, he does, but the thing is that, like—when he's been nonverbal for this long it can end up lasting a while, and it's not—he's happy, right now. _So happy._ His friends make him happy too, but they need words he can't give them.

Miley taps his hand against Jack's arm and kicks one leg in the air, letting it flop heavily down.

“Sorry,” Jack tells him. “I don't understand that one.”

Miley does a thumbs up and then makes an X with his hands. _Yes, cancel please._ He hides his face in Jack's shirt again.

“Alright. I'll text Nelson.”

“Mm.” Miley flaps a hand at him and crawls across the bed to snag his phone. He pulls up his text conversation with Cap and hands it over.

“Oh, okay.” Jack stares at his thumbs over the keys for a second before he starts typing.

Miley sits cross-legged and waits.

Jack holds the phone out. “Is this okay?”

 **_Milo (8:36 AM):_ ** _Hi, this is Jack. We can't come to breakfast today. Sorry._

Miley nods and curls back up against Jack, this time tucked under his arm but facing away. He scrunches the comforter up in his arms and snuggles into it.

Jack sets the phone down near Miley's head and spoons him, nose brushing against the shell of his ear.

Miley takes one of Jack's hands. He's playing with Jack's fingers, turning them and running his thumb over the knuckles, when the phone goes off with Nelly's ringtone.

“Oops,” Jack says, laughing softly.

Miley denies the phone call.

Jack's phone starts to buzz.

 _Ugh._ Miley grumbles.

“Should've seen that coming,” Jack says. He reaches behind him, torso twisting, and grabs the phone. “Hello.”

“Jack, babes,” Nelly says on speaker. “Are you holding my rookie hostage?”

Jack says, “Everything's fine. Milo can't, uh, talk right now.”

“You do realize that makes it sound like you killed him, right? Are we in a Lifetime movie?”

Miley laughs.

“Oh, good,” Nelly says. “Mo, babe, listen to your father and come to breakfast.”

Miley frowns and bites lightly at Jack's shirt, tugging on the fabric.

Jack rubs Miley's arm and says, “We're, uh, indisposed.”

“That's a weird way of saying my friend is sucking your dick, but okay.” There's a rustling on the other end of the line and the sound of a car starting. “Fine. Mo, are you coming to practice?”

Miley gives Jack a thumbs up.

“He'll be there. Bye, Nelson.” Jack drops the phone and looks down at Miley. “Pancakes?”

 _Fuck yes._ Miley happy-stims against Jack's arm, drumming his hands super quickly on his bicep and kicking his legs, too, so fast that they get all tangled up in the comforter and he has to twist to get free. _It's okay. We're really okay._

“Haha,” Jack says. He helps Miley fix the comforter and then sits up, stretching. His shirt pulls up over his tummy where it's peeking out over the band of his sweatpants.

 _You're so cute,_ Miley thinks. _Fuck._

He sits up and shivers when the comforter falls away. “Brr.”

Jack looks over, then smiles. “Short or long-sleeve?”

Miley wraps one hand around his other wrist.

“Okay.” Jack leans over and pulls a sweatshirt out of his duffel bag, tossing it to Miley.

It's the same color red as Jack's shirt. Is half his wardrobe from his old university? He must have loved it a lot.

Miley pulls the sweatshirt over his head and laughs quietly—he touches the Samwell logo on his chest and then flattens his palm over the same place on Jack's shirt. _We match._

“Oh, haha. Yeah.” Jack stands up and stretches some more, then starts wandering out of the bedroom towards the kitchen. His voice is quieter. “I like my life a lot now. But I miss it there.”

Miley catches up to him and hums sympathetically. He reaches out and takes Jack's hand.

Jack glances at him and smiles. “Do you miss Sweden?”

Miley hums again, less sad this time. _Yeah. But I love it here more._ He pulls Jack over to the living room window, where rain is drumming softly on the glass.

They watch the rain fall to the street below for a while, still holding hands. It's nice.

Jack tugs on Miley's hand gently and shrugs one shoulder in the direction of the kitchen, so Miley follows him. He connects his phone to the speakers while Jack looks through Miley's pantry for pancake stuff. It'd probably go faster if Miley helped instead of pulling up Carly Rae Jepsen on Spotify, but— _priorities._

He remembers the earplugs right before he hits play, though, and darts out of the room. Jack calls his name, but it only takes him a second to find the box in the hall closet.

“What's up?” Jack asks.

Miley hands Jack the earplugs.

“Oh, haha.” Jack smiles and puts them in his pocket. “I really don't need these, it's not—”

Miley scrolls down to _I Really Like You_ and turns it up to 40.

“Oh,” says Jack. “Nevermind.”

Miley pats Jack on the arm while he's putting the earplugs in, squeezing past him to find the pancake mix. It's behind the pasta sauce, obviously.

Jack pulls out everything else from the fridge and turns on the stove top while Miley starts scooping pancake mix into a bowl.

Miley's echolalia kicks in, and he starts singing without even noticing at first. Then dancing, too, but that's to get Jack's attention. It makes Jack smile, which is becoming one of Miley's favorite things.

The song ends, and Miley glances over nervously when he hits replay—he knows that it can get kind of annoying for some people, listening to the same thing over and over. But Jack just laughs and starts humming along to the chorus.

He's pretty off-key, maybe because of the earplugs, but Miley doesn't mind. And like, he knows that it's not the same thing as an actual conversation, obviously. But maybe...it kind of is.

It doesn't feel less like saying something, when he's still singing and his eyes meet with Jack's right as Jack tries to flip a pancake and it lands halfway on the frying pan and half not, and he closes his eyes and laughs while Jack hisses and tries to rescue it.

 _I do really like you._ Miley wets a dish towel and helps Jack clean up the mess. _I hope you understand._

“Thanks. Can I touch your back?” Jack asks. Miley nods. “And, uh, kiss you?”

Miley nods again. He leans into the kiss, sliding a hand up Jack's forearm to grip his elbow. His apartment smells like burnt pancake and he licks a smudge of flour off Jack's cheek.

Jack wrinkles his nose up and laughs. “Haha. Thanks.”

Miley hums and pours more batter into the pan.

Jack nudges at the edge of it even though it's nowhere near ready to flip. His voice is quiet. “I don't think it's too soon. Like the song says, I mean.”

Miley replays it again.

 

~*~

 

They’re supposed to go downtown after breakfast so Miley can show Jack more of the city, but Jack just takes the plates to the sink and curls back up next to Miley on the couch, reaching for the remote. He pulls up Netflix and clicks over to the first thing on Miley's favorites, which is this weird anime movie Parse made everyone watch one time that was actually really good.

“Can I put my arm around you?” Jack asks.

Miley grabs a blanket off the recliner chair first and tosses it over both of them, then lays his head on Jack's shoulder. He taps Jack's arm and then points at his thigh.

“Hm?” Jack drapes his arm around Miley's shoulders. “Oh, yeah. You can touch.”

Miley rests a hand near Jack's knee, testing how the sweatpant fabric feels between his fingers. It's not his favorite stim texture, but it's pretty good.

They watch the movie for a while, subtitles on, and Jack keeps fidgeting with the blanket and changing the volume on the TV and bouncing his leg. Miley hums and looks up at him with wide eyes. _What's wrong?_

“Sorry,” Jack says. “I just, uh.”

Miley blinks slowly and waits.

“Can I play with your hair?” Jack asks. Miley nods, and Jack brings his hand up to scratch lightly at Miley's scalp.

It's weird. They're just sitting here, and Jack hasn't said much of anything and Miley can't even actually remember the last thing _he_ said the night before. But it's so much—this something. Maybe it's how quiet the TV is, or the way Jack's leg suddenly stops bouncing.

Jack says it slowly, with long pauses. He's so careful with his words, like the bow he stuck on Miley's present. “I always have such a nice time with you...whether it's going out somewhere or staying in, uh, like this.”

Miley squeezes his eyes shut and nuzzles his face against Jack's neck happily—but he flinches away, because _shit shit_ he didn't ask first and—

“No, hey, it's okay.” Jack holds him there gently, his hand in Miley's hair urging him close again. Miley relaxes, hiding his face in the crook of Jack's neck and shoulder. “I...always. Uh. I just. Want to be with you all the time. And it scares me. But it also... doesn't.”

 _Me too! God, me too._ Miley takes a shuddering breath and smacks his hand against Jack's thigh, tapping tapping tapping. _Me too, me too, me too._

Jack chuckles and starts playing with Miley's hair again. “You...make me feel like hockey does. It's...complicated. And messy. And...huge, so I don't. I won't always have the words for it.”

 _That's okay._ Miley kisses behind his ear. He wants to do more, but he can't. Everything clogs up in his throat and the only thing he can do is exhale and hope it's enough. _Please understand me._

“But what I know is...at the end of the day, I love hockey,” Jack says. He reaches tentatively with his other hand, fingers just short of brushing Miley's cheek—but it urges Miley to look up on the next breath, and the moment their eyes meet everything stops. “And I love you.”

Miley is shaking. He's held there, Jack's blue eyes and the faint memory of a hand in his hair and words someone said that he can't say back but feels in the everything about his body. The way it feels to blast music through his headphones on a long car ride and make a slapshot he knows will go in and feel Ost purring against his chest.

The way it feels to take Jack's hand and place it over his heart, and not look away.

“I know,” Jack says.

Miley closes his eyes. _Thank you._

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you're wondering who I am and what I've done with SummerFrost, I don't know either! You can try to find me on [my Pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.io/summerfrost) or [Tumblr!](https://www.yoursummerfrost.tumblr.com)
> 
> If you want more Jack and Miley, or want to marry Cody like I do, give [the OMGCP Suitehearts blog](https://omgcp-suitehearts.tumblr.com/) a follow!


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